[b]IVR: Why it's Important to take that Customer Journey before your callers do...[/b]
I had an issue with my mobile network provider. For the sake of anonymity, let's call them "Vadofone", here in the UK. I duly went to their website, looked up their Customer Support number for my PAYG Tariff and dialled... my IVR journey began...
"This number has now changed to <this number>... which is charged at a basic rate. If you continue to hold, you will be still be connected to one of our Advisors - but your call will be charged at a higher rate... Welcome to Vadofone Customer Services, please enter a valid <mobile number>..."
00:35: Soooo... the Customer Services number on the website is out of date...? OK - still.. I'll enter my number, undaunted...
"Welcome - there are several ways to resolve your query, without talking to an advisor. To check your current calling credit or Top Up, you can call <number>, anytime. For a list of resolutions to common issues or to chat to an advisor on-line, free of charge, 24/7 visit vadofone.co.uk slash "contact us"... Alternatively, to speak to one of our Agents, there'll be a flat 25p charge..."
01:20: So, you've warned me that speaking to one of your Advisors will cost me money - and you've kindly given me some "tips" to resolve issues I don't have, that I could "resolve" myself, free of charge. OK - thanks. I also realise I am over a minute in to my call and I am nowhere, yet. But - wait - there's more...
"...There are 3 Options; If your phone is Blocked, press 1. For Customer Services, press 2. If you are thinking of leaving us, press 3..."
01:45: Got it. Pressing 2 - definitely need 2....
"...Just a moment whilst I put you through to one of the team, who can help..."
01:55: Great! Straight through!
"...This number has now changed to <this number>... which is charged at a basic rate. If you continue to hold, you will be still be connected to one of our Advisors - but your call may be charged at a higher rate.... if you speak to one of our Agents, there'll be a flat 25p charge..."
02:30: Erm.... o-kay....
"...To speak to us about your PAYG Service, press 1. To speak to use about your Pay Monthly Service, press 2..."
02:45: Now, I do recall that I entered my number, only moments ago - so, in all honesty, you should know what my Service is? Okay - I'll play ball... Pressing 1...
"Welcome... | ...Welcome to Vadofone PAYG. You'll find lots of ways to get help with PAYG if you visit vadofone.co.uk/help - you can also chat to an Advisor, on-line for free at vadofone.co.uk/contactus ... If you speak to an Advisor, there will be a 25p flat rate charge. There are 3 options; If you want to Top Up, add a <package> or understand your credit or going abroad use, press 1. If you need Help or Support, press 2. If you want to upgrade to a Pay Monthly Plan or you're thinking of leaving us, Press 3..."
03:45: Yes - really - nearly 4 minutes! OK - I listened hard, but Option 1 had, like, three things - or was it four? Anywhooo... I need help and support - so... 2? 2 - yep, that's it. "2"...
"If your top-up, <etc.> hasn't activated yet or for any questions about <our offers> press - 1. For information on network coverage it's 2. To get technical help, including changing settings on your device, press 3. For information on call barring it's 4. Or if you want to bring your number from another network, press 5.. press star to hear these options again..."
04:30: What? ...What?!?! How many... What was that...? <sigh>. "*"
"If your top-up, <etc.> hasn't activated yet or for any questions about <our offers> press - 1. For information on network coverage it's 2. To get technical help, including changing settings on your device, press 3. For information on call barring it's 4. Or if you want to bring your number from another network, press 5.. press star to hear these options again..."
05:15: Actually, none of the above. What now..? Got to choose something, I guess... Technical Help? Close enough... "2"... <praying>
"... For help with your voicemail, press 1. For help with your internet or picture messaging settings, press 2. To use your phone on another network, press 3. For a PIN unlcok code, press 4..."
06:10: Seriously? None of the above! Where is my Agent, that I would now be glad to have to pay 25p for, having spent over 6 minutes listening to Options..

Suffice to say, I gave up. Too many Options, too many assumptions, too much narrative per Option, too many repetitious menus, too many loops, misleading and superfluous information, broken menus and - ultimately, being the worst of all - a complete waste of my time!
Lesson learnt? Don't call "Vadofone" for Customer Services on a PAYG Tariff - go to the website... and good luck with that, too!